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Forging
a Diamond-Like Self
I am Shruti Mital and I have been
practicing Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism for the last year.
I was a very shy and introverted person
with no goals in life. I was an average student. It was hard to do well
on exams because of my tendency to fall ill during my exams. I got nervous
and overanxious, and was unable to do my best. To my great surprise and
delight, I scored a distinction in my 12th boards and got an admission
in Psychology (Honors) in the university. It was like a dream come true!
But my joys were short lived. I again
became a victim of my tendency to fall ill, and to my utter horror, I learned
that I had flunked my first year final exams! The college authorities told
me that I could not continue Honors Psychology after this; I could be promoted
to the second year B.A., with psychology as my main subject. This was a
challenge for of me. I had to repeat four exams from the first year, and
had to pass the new papers in my second year. I felt helpless and cried
for hours on my mother's lap. She helped me to hold on to my courage.
Finally, when the time came to retake
all those exams, I developed malaria. The doctor diagnosed that I had mild
liver and splenetic enlargement, and I was advised bed rest. Once again
I couldn¡¯t take my exams and lost the opportunity to clear my second year!
My heart was broken. I blamed my weak
health and eventually decided to drop out of college. I agonized about
what people were thinking.
To escape my problems, I decided to
get married. This became an issue at home and every time my mother would
say, ¡°This is not the way to solve problems. You should fight and win.¡±
I approached my college authorities,
and fortunately I was given a chance to clear my 1st and 2nd years. This
time I was also nervous and worried, but I managed to clear all my papers
with passing marks.
Shortly after this, my cousin introduced
me to this wonderful practice. I started chanting daimoku and results began
to show. After considering my determination to finish my education, the
college authorities made me a regular student and permitted me to sit for
my final year. This beginner¡¯s benefit encouraged me to use this opportunity
to show people that I am not a ¡°loser in life.¡± I can WIN.
During that year, my faith doubled
and I kept working at it. Chanting daimoku brought abundant confidence
in my studies and helped me break through my escapist attitude. I chanted
earnestly to the Gohonzon for my success. I did morning and evening gongyo
regularly. This gave me the wisdom to manage my time and was able to attend
SGI activities. My final year exams approached and the real test of faith
was at the door. I decided to give 100% of whatever I had learned from
SGI meetings. One of Sensei¡¯s guidances became my guiding light:
¡°The purpose of SGI activities
is for each of us to be able to build a strong, invincible, diamond-like
self that can overcome every difficulty and blaze a way forward wherever
we go. Obstacles are a golden opportunity to quickly forge an inner self
that is as indestructible as a diamond, able to endure for eternity.¡±
The blessings of chanting to the Gohonzon
were clearly visible with each passing day. I took all my exams without
any sign of illness, low self-esteem, or fear. I had no fever, no stomach
upset, no cough or cold, no malaria, no jaundice, nothing! I was really
happy to be able to do my exams to my best of ability. Immediately after
my last paper, I plunged into the July SGI discussion meeting preparations
and cultural activities, working toward the first Area Level Young Woman¡¯s
Division (YWD) General Meeting on the 24th of July. I didn¡¯t miss any of
the rehearsals and my through my joyful participation I didn¡¯t worry about
my test results at all. After performing my best in the YWD meeting, I
rushed to see my final exam results and, to my surprise, I had passed all
my exams. As if this was not enough, I was informed that I had won top
honors in my college for Psychology, my major subject. I shed tears of
joy ¡ª I had won!
With this feather in my hat, I see
myself setting and achieving many goals for myself as a capable member
of the YWD.
This victory also helped me introduce
my two best friends to the practice. I owe my success to my faith in the
Gohonzon, which is really faith in myself. I owe a debt of gratitude to
Sensei for helping me do my human revolution through his book The New Human
Revolution. I would like to thank my family and friends who stood by me
through thick and thin. Last but not the least, I would like to thank my
cousin who introduced me to this practice and my leaders who kept guiding
me in faith.
I have many miles to go, many mountains
to climb, and many dreams to fulfill. This is just the beginning, and in
this year of Youth and Development, I am going to use every SGI discussion
meeting, every study meeting, along with abundant daimoku, to awaken to
my mission as the disciple of Ikeda Sensei. I determine to strengthen my
Buddhist study and make the top of the SGI entrance level exams on the
13th of November.
Thank You!!
Shruti Mital
Delhi (India)
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