By Cindy 

I am a long time member who has fought throughout most of my practice to find the motivation to do a consistent Gongyo and chant abundant Daimoku. I have stopped practicing many times. 

Most recently, I was away for over ten years. During that time my life stood still, then turned darker and darker — until I was experiencing heaviness in every area: family, work, home, environment. You name it, I was suffering. 

I came back to the practice, when my children began exhibiting extreme symptoms of depression. I realized that my life condition was affecting them, and it had to stop. 

About a year and a half ago, I took out the Gohonzon that had been rolled up in my sock drawer and started to chant. Almost instantly, my life began to turn around. My children daily amaze me with their rebounding joy and fervor for life. My environment feels more positive, and I am having one of the best years I have ever had, in my job as a teacher. 

I cannot make you chant. I cannot put you in front of your Gohonzon, or sit there with you until you break through this obstacle. I cannot whisk your clouds away, as they hang heavily on your heart, but I can tell you that if you do get up, go to your altar, and sit down right now and chant with an open heart and mind, chant for joy, that joy will find you. 

Also, connect with your leaders, and go to as many meetings as you can. 

Tell people around you what you are going through. Don't suffer in silence. Above all — don't give up. Chant for your Buddha nature to awaken, and light up your life once more. 

Fondly, Cindy