My
Dreams are Coming True in Hong Kong
By Sin Wai-ki
(aka Wai-wai)
My childhood
was full of fear and anxiety. My father was a Triad (Chinese crime syndicate)
member. We used to live in a wooden hut at Junk Bay. When I was six years
old, my father was sentenced to death. At that time, my younger sister
was four years old and my younger brother was only two. The sentence was
not carried out immediately because of an appeal. The case dragged on until
her Royal Highness commuted the death sentence to life imprisonment.
After my father
was imprisoned, my mother bore all the hardships of bringing up the three
children. One summer day when I was eight years old, there were about eight
children playing in the house. Our uncles were playing cards and mah-jong
while my grandmother, mother, and aunts were chatting.
Suddenly, men
with knives forced their way into the house. Grandma, my mother, and aunts
held us, using their bodies to protect us. I could see clearly that all
our uncles were seriously injured. There was blood everywhere. One uncle,
because he had used his hands to protect his face, had three of his fingers
cut off. Another uncle had 11 wounds on his body, the smallest of which
was half an inch deep. That was the kind of environment in which my sister,
brother, and I were brought up.
When I was 10
years old, our home was burned down. We did not feel sorry at all, just
that we had not managed to save our old photos. After the fire, we were
allocated a public housing unit. All 10 members of our family squeezed
into the small flat. My uncle was a coarse man and used to beat and scold
my sister and I. I knew he was under a lot of stress. I felt very insecure.
My mother was also under great pressure. She had the greatest influence
on me.
My mother worked
at least 12 hours a day. After work, she helped us do our homework. People
looked down on her. All we could do was silently bear the situation. My
mother was very strong. She never cried in front of us. One day she said
to us: "You have grown up in a complicated family situation and your father
cannot live with us. I must be strong to protect you. I won't let you feel
inferior and I won't let you get hurt."
My mother was
so thoughtful and strong. She bore all the stress herself. To cope with
the pressure, my mother had to take sleeping pills and tranquilizers every
day.
When I was 14
years old, I did one thing that I regret even today — I ran away from home.
It really broke my mother's heart. I was young and naïve. I stubbornly
believed that I could take care of myself. I got a part-time job in a fast
food shop to earn a living, but my grades in school fell drastically. Finally,
I quit school. During that period, I was leading a meaningless life of
no value. I was like a walking corpse. No one cared about me, but no one
dared bully me either, because I told people who my father was.
During that
year, I missed my mother so much, yet I did not go back to see her. I tried
not to think about her, but it was really hard. I truly did not want to
go back home. I felt so helpless. I kept asking myself: "What is the purpose
of life? Do I have to continue living like this? Who can help me?" I was
16 at the time, but I saw no hope in my life.
One day, my
younger sister and brother found me. My brother said: "Come back home.
We really miss you."
My sister also
said: "Don't you know how hurt mother feels? She never cries in front of
us, but since you left, she often cries silently after we go to bed. I
am very worried about her. You love me so much! Why won't you come back?"
That persuaded me to return home.
My mother had
become an SGI member when I was 11. At that time, I did not know much about
this religion. I only remember that even after her 12-hour day, she would
still take us to meetings. During the period that I had left home, I did
not attend any meetings. But after I returned home, I found that my mother
no longer depended on the medicines which she had taken for ten years.
My sister and brother told me that my mother had not given up practising
Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism when I had left home. Instead, she earnestly
prayed to the Gohonzon that one day I would return. I still remembered
what my mother said to me then: "Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism is very
profound. If we live according to President Ikeda's guidance, we can see
our lives clearly and have the courage to face our lives in a positive
way. The SGI gives me support."
When I heard
her words, I prayed before the Gohonzon, crying, and saying, "Thank you
so much for changing my mother's health karma. I'll participate actively
in Gakkai activities to repay my debt of gratitude." With this sense of
appreciation, I joined in Gakkai activities again. My thoughts and actions
gradually changed. I could feel my life was full of hope.
My sister and
brother also changed after they took part in Gakkai activities.
My mother had
never given up on my father. She kept sending Gakkai newspapers and monthly
magazines to him and he began to chant Nam Myoho-renge-kyo nine years ago.
Since I started
this practice, I have not complained about what has happened in my life.
The biggest difference before and after taking faith in the Gohonzon is
that I feel the accumulation of Treasures of the Heart. I treasure my family,
my friends, and all SGI members, who work so hard for kosen-rufu. Many
people have wondered: "Are people born good or evil?" I think we have both
good and evil natures in our life. Buddhism is very strict. If you lead
a winning life, it means that the good in your life overcomes the devilish
functions. I had more devilish functions in my life than good, but this
religion has enabled me to expand the good within my life. I think that
a religion that has a correct philosophy is very important. I deeply appreciate
my mother. Because of her stand alone spirit, she was able to turn our
unhappy family into a happy one. Never underestimate the power of
one person.
At the beginning
of my experience, I said that my father had been sentenced to life imprisonment.
He kept on improving himself while he was in prison and in 1998, we were
informed that he could be released! This was the good news that we had
waited 20 years for! Last September, our whole family was reunited again.
I was only six when he went to prison. Over the 20 years, once every 3
months for half an hour, I could see at him through a glass panel and talk
to him through a telephone handset.
This true, great
Buddhism was able to make the impossible happen. Before I took faith in
the Gohonzon, I often burst into tears of pain and hopelessness. But now,
every time I cry, I cry out of gratitude and joy.
I am grateful
to Nichiren Daishoinn, President Ikeda and all the members around me. A
few years ago, at the Tai Po Training Centre, Sensei attended a conferral
ceremony. As one of the members of the Fung Wah group, I stood on the stage
behind Sensei who was giving a speech. At that moment, I pledged to Sensei
and the Gohonzon that one day I would bring my father to this training
centre and for our family to attend a training course together there.
I still have
to work on this, although my father often goes to the kaikan to chant.
The happiest thing is that we get along harmoniously with our father. Every
time my sister and I go out with him, we hold his hands, as if we were
still very young. My parents are like young lovers, deeply in love with
each other. Meanwhile, my brother was fortunate enough to get a place at
Soka University in Japan three years ago. He will probably be back for
the Lunar New Year holidays. When he comes back, we will take a real family
photo together.
My dreams are
coming true, how about yours?
Copyright 2002 Gakkai Experiences Online
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