By Vanessa Preston (Age 14)
[Excerpted from the World Tribune, 10/20/00]

Do you know what it's like to be alone? Do you know what it is like to have a split personality, where one holds a knife to your wrist and the other pushes it away? This was a question I was asked by a friend who desperately sought my help.

It's scary, isn't it?

Chanting Nam Myoho-renge-kyo has always worked for me. I was born into a family that practices Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism, and based on years of personal experience with chanting, I knew that anytime I needed help I could turn to the Gohonzon.

What I hadn't learned was that I also have the power to help my friends through my Buddhist practice. This past semester in high school, I had the opportunity to use my practice in a way I never had before.

I found out that my best friend Nancy had slit her wrists the night before. She survived but she still needed help.

I did not know what to do. I was scared that the life of my friend was in danger and she was looking to me for help. What if I tried to help, but she got angry with me? What if I did the wrong thing?

I knew that I had to chant and take action. I decided that I should definitely talk to Nancy. I found her in the lunchroom and asked her if she was doing okay. She said, "Yeah," and I said, "No, I mean are you really okay?"

She finally said that she wasn't okay and began to cry. I gave her a hug and told her that everything was going to be all right. She then showed me her bandaged wrists. I started to cry when I saw them. She told me that she was glad that someone had finally noticed.

Nancy and I spoke for some time and I finally convinced her to see our teacher, Mr. Smitters. We were joined by another friend Sue who was also hurting herself.

Mr. Smitters had helped other kids with the similar problems. Another teacher overheard our conversation with Mr. Smitters and took it upon herself to tell the school principal and the counselor about Sue and Nancy. The principal made both of them call their parents. 

When I heard about this I was upset because I knew that neither of them were ready to talk to their parents. I needed to chant. I was confused, it seemed that my actions to help my friends just made matters worse.

That night I got a call from Sue. She was calling from a phone booth. Her parents thought she was a failure and a disgrace to their family. Her mother kicked her out of the house. Sue had to call her grandmother to come and pick her up.

I still hadn't heard from Nancy and I didn't even know how she was. Now I was even more discouraged but my mother encouraged me. We spent most of the weekend chanting for Sue and Nancy.

Through all of my chanting, I realized that Sue's grandmother was providing her the loving home that she needed. In less than a week, her mother called and begged her to come home. They now go for counseling and Sue is doing fine.

Nancy called me that Sunday evening and told me how she spent the entire weekend having quality time with her mom. Nancy and her mom now have a better relationship, and she can tell her mom things that she never could before.

I asked Nancy if I did the right thing. She said, "Yes, I'm not alone anymore."

I learned two things from this experience. Even if things don't turn out the way I plan them, my prayers are always answered. When I am confused and things don't seem right, I have to chant even harder and not give up.

The second thing I learned is that without chanting I would not have looked beyond my selfish perspective and reached out to my friends. This is where true friendship begins.