By Ren Hyman, as recorded by Judy Hyman
[Excerpts from the World Tribune, 9/22/00, p. 6]

In the mid-50s, I lived in Saigon with my husband and our six children. My husband, though Vietnamese, spoke fluent French and worked as a translator for the French government.

When the French left Saigon, the Communists came in. They came to our home in the night and took my husband away.

I never saw him again. I later learned that he was shot and thrown in the river.

My children and I were forced from our home. I was young and had no work experience.

Even though I worked hard, life was still difficult. Two of my children died.

A young handsome American serviceman offered me a job as a live-in housekeeper. My aunt agreed to look after my children and I took the job. After a year, he asked me to become his girlfriend.

What choice did I have?  My aunt advised me to "close my eyes and make him happy." If I refused what would happen to my children?

We were lovers for three years. I became pregnant.

He was transferred back to America. After consulting with his mother, he agreed to bring me and our child back to America. I had to leave my other children in Saigon with my aunt.

My oldest son was imprisoned because I married an American.

After bringing my other three children to America, my husband's attitude changed. He seemed angry with the children all the time. If the children disobeyed him, he disciplined them. I thought he was too strict.

We argued constantly. My hope of a happy life disappeared. I thought of leaving him, but I had no place to go. I cried all the time. I thought of killing myself, but wondered "Who would take care of the children?"

He was assigned to the Middle East. When he came home, we argued. He was relieved to return to the Middle East.

I enrolled in an English as a second language course. One of my classmates was a Buddhist. She taught me to chant Nam Myoho-renge-kyo and told me that I could overcome my problems and become happy.

I was glad to try anything that might relieve my suffering.

As I chanted, a subtle change occurred. I began seeing things from my husband's perspective. He was young, had never been married, and had never been around children until our marriage. He must have found the acquisition of a large family confusing.

Instead of criticizing, I began to chant to understand him better.

With this perspective, I expressed my appreciation to him for helping me to help my children to have a good home.

My husband began spending more time with the children. He seemed to care about them.  He also treated me with respect and kindness. My family thrived as I practiced steadily.  

My husband has become a good husband and good father. He brings me flowers and makes me happy.

My young son said to me recently "Daddy taught me how to write, how to fix my car, how to manage money, and how to be a good citizen. At first, I thought he was bad, but now I love him. Thank you, Mama, for giving me Daddy."

My oldest son, who was imprisoned for ten years, was released. Last year he was able to bring his wife and daughter to America.

Thanks to Nam Myoho-renge-kyo, my dream of having a happy family has come true.

I have changed my life completely, and I am forever grateful.