"Damned
to Hell"
by Niki
"For
Show & Tell today, I brought my juzu beads," I said as I raised them
up to show the class. Everyone looked totally stunned. None of them understood
what the things were.
"Hmmm. That's
interesting, Niki. Is it a necklace?" she asked, as she put them over her
head.
"NO! Please
don't do that! Never mind, let someone else go first!"
Being a Buddhist,
and living in a "Western" civilization, I go through a lot of discrimination,
misunderstanding, etc.
When I was young,
I brought my prayer beads to school. No one knew what they were, not even
my teacher! I was very upset. That was probably my first experience. But,
it certainly was not my last.
As I grew older,
kids in my classes used to always make fun of me. Or they would ask me
stupid questions hoping to demean my religious views.
"Do you float?
Do you know anyone who floats?" — this was a very common question that
kids would ask.
What was I supposed
to say? "Yes, I float. I also fly around on my broomstick on most Saturday
nights!"
Now, misconceptions
were only one of my problems. When I started to get a little older, the
kids just decided to just be mean straight to my face.
"You're gonna
go to HELL! What do you mean you don't believe in God? Do you worship the
devil? My mom says that you're gonna go to HELL!"
What a thing
for a child of 9 or 10 to hear! Not only are my peers making fun of me,
but now parents are telling their kids that I am damned!
Now that I look
back on those years and those kids, I thank them for what they did. I am
a MUCH stronger person now. Although it's easy to say that because I don't
hang around with them. Even though they made me stronger, I still remember
the years of tormenting, and I wonder, "Why do those kids think that? Why
didn't their parents teach them love and understanding? In Christian churches,
do they just tell the kids to hate everyone that's not of their religion?"
I learned the
answers to those questions while I was in middle school. Seventh grade
was "my year of understanding." Now, instead of kids hearing that I wasn't
Christian and then immediately assuming a whole bunch of things that weren't
true, kids asked me real questions! I was so excited.
I asked them
about their religion. They asked me about mine. It was great!
One girl (I
don't remember her name) did a Hyper Studio stack about Japan, and ended
up getting a lot of information about Buddhism. So, when I told her that
I was Buddhist, she was intrigued.
She asked me
real questions like, "Is there a 'temple' or church in Omaha? How do you
pray? Is Buddha your God, or just the founder or what?"
It was so nice
to have questions that I could actually answer instead of false accusations
and stupid, demeaning questions.
Now that I'm
in high school, I know that all of the torture I was put through helped
me. I learned that society isn't always right. Those kids didn't know or
care about me, my religion, or my feelings. They just went along with the
stereotypes, and the views of the majority. I also learned to "put [myself]
in others' shoes." If those kids would've done that for even a second,
they could have learned so much!
And, lastly,
I learned that life and people are rarely ever fair. If life were fair
all the time, I would never have been hurt so much. Or those kids would've
been made fun of, too. But, they never were.
I wonder now
about those kids. I wonder if they even remember the torture and torment
they put me through. I wonder if they know how it feels to always be the
one that people point their fingers at. I wonder if they know how it feels
to be constantly laughed at. But, I mostly wonder if they know what it
feels like to be "damned to hell!!"
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